Portrait of the Writer

As a Bad Artist

Hi Y’all,

Yesterday my longtime friend Thomas Crone (read his substack here) did something fun. He tracked down a bunch of substacks referring to CRONE and on his Substack Notes Feed he publicly asked us some questions. I had a good time answering him and as I did, I realized the one-year anniversary of this word experiment had just passed. 

For this week’s installment I’m sharing my answers here—for those of you who don’t know me and for those of you who do and who continue to patiently, lovingly play along with my ongoing shenanigans. 

I’d love to hear what brought you to Substack (the platform in general, not just my newsletter), how you like it, what you use it for, and if you think it’s serving a bigger purpose than just another newish social media platform. 

TC: Who are you? Why are you here (on Substack)? 

Spike Gillespie. I’m a woman. I say that because a lot of people see my name and assume I am a man. I have been putting “I’m a woman” in my emails forever, long before people put in identifying pronouns. Now I worry (not too much) that when I say, “I’m a woman,” people will think I am trying to signal something other than Spike is a pretty butch name for a lady except for it’s been my name for 40 years so I guess for my friends maybe Spike suggests female? Gosh it is so confusing to be alive right now. Which is probably a big reason I’m on Substack.

I’ve been a published writer since I was 19 (same year I got the name Spike). I’ve written for lots of big places like New York Times, National Geographic Traveler, Smithsonian, etc. I have also written questionable content for questionable periodicals. I’m the author of nine books. And I’m a hustler. Or I was a hustler. Which is why I wrote for most anyone who’d have me for a long time—I was raising my kid on my own, money was always impossibly tight, and back then it was $1-$2 per word so heck yeah I hustled.

Now I’m old. I think I still want to write but I’m not sure. I try to post weekly because, I don’t know, because I can? Maybe one day I’ll stop the way Mick Jagger has not been able to stop but perhaps should have.

TC: What’s the official tagline or description for your Substack? What else would you say about the newsletter’s mission and intention?

Crone Poems and Other Reflections for Gen X Ladies. It’s called that because that’s what popped in my head when I started it. Maybe a more accurate title would be Spike Might Be Turning into a Cliche Grumpy Old Person. My mission is to keep a place open for me to publish my stuff. My intention? I like connecting with people and find it easiest in many cases to connect via the written word. 

TC: What inspired you to hit send with your first edition? How long was the time period between thinking “I should do this” and “I did this?” 

I had to look up to see when I started. Last August, the day after Joe Strummer’s birth anniversary I wrote a piece called I Am Old Now and sent it out. I’m too old now to go back and read it but I’m pretty sure what it is about has to do with something a teacher said to me. I was at a weeklong oil painting workshop at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico. I took up SO many new things during lockdown and painting was one of those things. I was, as I often am in art classes, OBJECTIVELY the worst in the room. But I didn’t give a shit. I have gotten very good at allowing myself to try new things. My teacher, Natasha Isenhour, is an astonishingly talented painter. At some point during a class she said, “I’m a painter, I paint.” And I was like, “DUH! I’m a writer! I write!” I felt like it was time for me to find a new sturdy perch upon which I could stand and sing my words out to the world. Substack is that perch. I’ve had a number of regular columns in my life. I think the format best suits what I’m doing. I doubt I waited very long between thinking and doing as I have sort of a problem (gift?): impulsivity.

TC: Generally speaking, who are your readers and how did they find you? 

Mostly through IG and also my subscriber list for the short-lived bakery I opened at my ranch during lockdown. That business was called Scone Crone and it was delivery only. I make excellent scones so the business really took off. It’s possible more of my subscribers signed up for my Substack because they like my scones, vs being familiar with/liking my writing. I think I have around 400 now and that feels like a great number. Like it almost feels like I’m sending out a personal letter each week. Writing letters is my very favorite kind of writing.

TC: What’s your favorite thing about Substack? 

That it exists.

TC: What’s your least favorite thing about Substack? 

(Clarification—In his own responses to his own questions, TC notes that sometimes it doesn’t feel great when someone unsubscribes, which I speak to below.)

I’ve been an aspiring Buddhist for decades. More the philosophy than the religious practice. I’m listening to yet another Buddhist audiobook now. This philosophy reminds me of the importance of being egoless which, let’s face it, if I were I probably wouldn’t be answering your questions. But my point is that there have been times, many times, when I thought, you know what, it’s okay to not write. It’s okay to disappear. It’s okay to not post regularly on Substack. But then I have these subscribers and I don’t want to just take their money and not deliver. Ha! That reminds me of a really, really, really bad street musician I saw one time and the joke was if you pay him, he’ll stop. Maybe I can have a substack subscription plan where people can pay to NOT receive my newsletter. 

Speaking not as a Buddhist so much as someone who has really been struggling financially lately (never totally rebuilt my bread and butter business of weddings post-lockdown), I hope you will try to not be upset by people unsubscribing. Just this morning I unsubbed from Jeff Tweedy and Neko Case. I love them both. But I also got a $700 electricity bill for July’s air conditioning and at this point I seriously cannot afford any extra anything. I have also been known to unsubscribe from anyone who sends me what I deem to be too many emails and the older I get, the smaller this number becomes. Rarely is it about the person or the content. It’s just that we live in a content heavy world now and I am trying to remember to go outside and play more and step away from the screens. I spend a lot of time with my goats.

TC: Any other creative projects in your life that you’d like to point towards? 

I have a little ranch, Tiny T Ranch, on the outskirts of Austin. Before lockdown I hosted a lot of weddings and it was good money. During lockdown, some brides (and it was always the brides) were so completely cruel to me that it took the wind out of my sails. I shut down the business rathers than face continued abuse. This has been super painful financially but no regrets at all. I still host the occasional wedding and preside over off-site weddings. But my thing now is really funerals and memorial services. I get to use all my journalism skills, all the stuff I learned in therapy, and my own personal non-stop torrent of life grief to be of service to others. It is so fun hosting funerals at the ranch because it is definitely a different feel from funeral homes and churches. 

I also took a job as a kooky elder docent at the O. Henry Museum in Austin. It has been the perfect post-lockdown job. I get to meet people from around the world, tell them about William Sydney Porter (I suspect he was a bipolar narcissist), then go home. It’s a way to connect with people, be kind to them, and, for out-of-towners, be an ambassador for Austin. I actually love Austin but it is so completely different from the Austin I moved to in 1991 that I often get bogged down bitching about all the changes and tech bros. As a docent, negativity is out of the question. So I wind up talking about all the good stuff and it makes the guests happy and it reminds me that I am glad to be in Austin, although this heat dome nonsense might force me to move. 

Thanks for reading y’all. If you’re in a position to subscribe, I hope you’ll consider it. $5 per month/$50 per year. It also helps if you share this with others, even if you don’t subscribe.