The Fucking Circle of Life

There are two t-shirts

Of which I have only heard

Not seen

The mere idea of them

fills me with

Desire to Acquire

The first came to me

Through a rumour about

A very pregnant woman

Wearing a shirt

Upon which was writ

A MAN DID THIS TO ME OPRAH

The other shirt

That I have not seen

But nonetheless I rely upon

In my daily ranch life

Is said to say

QUIT ANTHROPOMORPHIZING THE ANIMALS

THEY HATE IT

For eight months I have watched

My two ducks

Waddle everywhere in tandem

They have moves to put

Esther Williams to shame

Waddle quack waddle quack waddle quack

The other day

I was down to

One Duck

I spent the day immersed

In magical thinking

The duck would show up

The duck was on sabbatical

The duck…

Then I switched my focus

To the remaining duck

And composed a tale

Involving ninety thousand

Stages of grief

I monitored that duck

Who seemed to have swiftly

Bonded to the crippled goat

And was not particularly sad

But I thought

This duck will mourn

Forever

Then I consulted

The Google

Turns out

Ducks are

Serial monogamists

Those little fuckers

I have canceled the

Planned annual

Festival of Duck Grief

I have let go

Of my sorrow

I will just

Get another duck

Praise be