You are growing stronger grasshopper, please teach me. Something similar happened when I was at a park with my two dogs. I was sitting on the ground with them next to me and a large man began running directly at us and jumped over us just before impact. Terrifying. Thanks for sharing.
Claire! So excellent to hear from you. I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s a scary world out there. Miss you so much and hope I get to see you soon. ❤️
I’m sorry you’ve seen him, too. But I am going to try so hard to remember this next time some lunatic is raging at me—DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY because they’ll be raging at someone else soon enough. That’s a hard one for me to remember. Thank you.
I'm so proud of you for not flipping out, haha -- I know that's a big deal, especially when someone is being openly confrontational. That would be super difficult for anyone. I relate to the feeling of seeing your own shadow-self in someone else; many times when I've clashed with a controlling personality (often, but not always, a person in a leadership position that is aspirational for me), I remind myself that I have some of the same tendencies they do, and I ask myself "why might this person be this way?" (empathy, compassion) and then "how can I make sure that I don't behave like them in the future?" (learning the lesson). Difficult people are like free continuing ed courses for how to be a better person, lol.
On the dog thing -- ESA status especially is extremely overused and abused, and the fraud does a disservice to all legit ESAs and service animals. I hope we get some kind of crackdown on that soon because it is out of hand. As someone who has nearly been attacked by dogs multiple times, knows people who have been severely injured/disfigured by dogs, etc, I feel safest in dog-free spaces, and those almost don't exist anywhere anymore because so many people carve out exceptions. Thank you for differentiating your other dogs from your service animals...I wish everyone would do that!!
Since I’ve started (again) to do some IFS work, my brain is currently set to that framework—everywhere I look I see outer versions of my inner parts. That guy felt like some manifested personification of one of my least favorite inner parts. Actually, he and my grouchy inner part aren’t identical twins. But they have that same foundational misery. I really want to work on redirecting that part, giving it a super happy job like “see how many flowers you can spot today!”
When I retained the “professional service dog trainer,” I clearly stated I wanted a neutered, 2 year-old male dog but definitely not a pit bull. I have had pit mixes over the years. I loved them. But in my research for best service dog breeds, even though pit bulls qualify, there was this excellent caveat—some people can be triggered at the sight of a pit bull. I didn’t want my service dog freaking out others. So when he brought me Milo, he assured me “he’s not a pit bull, he’s a dogo argentino.” That sounded fake to me and a lot of my friends joke congratulated me on “not getting a pit bull.” Ultimately, I learned Dogos are a real breed and that, more or less, the definition of that breed is Extra Large Pit bull. Funny not funny, right? I, of course, instantly bonded with Milo. All a long way of saying I’m sorry for your past difficult dog experiences. Makes total sense you feel safer in dog free zone. Save for Milo, I rarely if ever take my dogs out in public. I’m lucky to have space out here. I think there are so many entitled dog “owners” (hate that word) who make things so difficult for the rest of us. I have much more to say about all of this but gosh this is already too long. I do love our conversations.
This is leaps and bounds ahead of the people who knowingly acquire a pit bull (often a rescue with past trauma), stamp an ESA on it, and then insist on bringing it into every public space. And for the record, I have huge respect for working dogs (farm dogs, seeing-eye dogs, etc), and they don't freak me out because they're usually very well-trained/well-behaved and doing something they were bred to excel at.
I love our conversations too -- I gotta get out there for a visit soon!
Through my work with elections, I've learned a lot about service animals. Did you know that, legally, they can be dogs or MINIATURE HORSES? That's it. No peacocks or snakes or even cats. That doesn't mean someone cannot have an emotional support animal is of another type, but ESAs don't receive the service animal protections. I'm thinking you suggest a mini horse for Angry Man the next time you run into each other. 😊
HAHAHAHAHA. He does need a pony. When I was writing this I was too lazy to look up which animals can be categorized as service v emotional support. I have vague memories of an article about a support pig and a support peacock but could be misremembering. Thank you for clarifying. I was on a date once with a guy who interrupted dinner to take a call, which he conducted right in front of me, loudly. This was maybe the second time we met. The call sounded… interesting. When it was done he explained it was his therapist calling to remind him about his mini pony therapy session. Look, I love therapy and I love service animals but really? Taking that call during dinner? Even I could see that red flag.
I appreciate your tales so much & i am very proud of your calm in the storm~I think I might have bopped him. I’m glad you had a visit from Milo~ what a wonderful feeling. My old yella lab, Lolita, sneaks around the corner from the kitchen to my room when she visits and I love her for that.
You are one of my sheroes for sharing so much of your life with us, especially because I relate to most of it.
Thank you so much. I was truly startled by how I didn’t scream at that guy. Last week I started reading a book called What My Bones Know, by Stephanie Foo. It’s about her CPTSD and her major efforts to deal with it. It is SO helpful. I’m also continuing to read No Bad Parts, the book I mentioned here last week. In a way, that guy at the Springs ranting like he was ranting became metaphorically a manifestation of some of the crazier parts in my mind. Being able to observe him flipping out—it’s really hard to explain. But it helped me. ❤️
This just made me laugh out loud. Good for you for holding a Buddha facade up in the face of a meltdown. That is amazing! I aspire to such poise! Really, I think it’s these micro victories that will heal us collectively. Thank you for being you 🧡😊
Hahaha. I’m glad you got a laugh out of it. It would be so great if I could have a full year to contemplate all comebacks to confrontational men. Thank YOU for being you. ❤️
You are growing stronger grasshopper, please teach me. Something similar happened when I was at a park with my two dogs. I was sitting on the ground with them next to me and a large man began running directly at us and jumped over us just before impact. Terrifying. Thanks for sharing.
Claire! So excellent to hear from you. I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s a scary world out there. Miss you so much and hope I get to see you soon. ❤️
I have seen that guy. He is completely unhinged and awful.
I’m sorry you’ve seen him, too. But I am going to try so hard to remember this next time some lunatic is raging at me—DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY because they’ll be raging at someone else soon enough. That’s a hard one for me to remember. Thank you.
I'm so proud of you for not flipping out, haha -- I know that's a big deal, especially when someone is being openly confrontational. That would be super difficult for anyone. I relate to the feeling of seeing your own shadow-self in someone else; many times when I've clashed with a controlling personality (often, but not always, a person in a leadership position that is aspirational for me), I remind myself that I have some of the same tendencies they do, and I ask myself "why might this person be this way?" (empathy, compassion) and then "how can I make sure that I don't behave like them in the future?" (learning the lesson). Difficult people are like free continuing ed courses for how to be a better person, lol.
On the dog thing -- ESA status especially is extremely overused and abused, and the fraud does a disservice to all legit ESAs and service animals. I hope we get some kind of crackdown on that soon because it is out of hand. As someone who has nearly been attacked by dogs multiple times, knows people who have been severely injured/disfigured by dogs, etc, I feel safest in dog-free spaces, and those almost don't exist anywhere anymore because so many people carve out exceptions. Thank you for differentiating your other dogs from your service animals...I wish everyone would do that!!
Since I’ve started (again) to do some IFS work, my brain is currently set to that framework—everywhere I look I see outer versions of my inner parts. That guy felt like some manifested personification of one of my least favorite inner parts. Actually, he and my grouchy inner part aren’t identical twins. But they have that same foundational misery. I really want to work on redirecting that part, giving it a super happy job like “see how many flowers you can spot today!”
When I retained the “professional service dog trainer,” I clearly stated I wanted a neutered, 2 year-old male dog but definitely not a pit bull. I have had pit mixes over the years. I loved them. But in my research for best service dog breeds, even though pit bulls qualify, there was this excellent caveat—some people can be triggered at the sight of a pit bull. I didn’t want my service dog freaking out others. So when he brought me Milo, he assured me “he’s not a pit bull, he’s a dogo argentino.” That sounded fake to me and a lot of my friends joke congratulated me on “not getting a pit bull.” Ultimately, I learned Dogos are a real breed and that, more or less, the definition of that breed is Extra Large Pit bull. Funny not funny, right? I, of course, instantly bonded with Milo. All a long way of saying I’m sorry for your past difficult dog experiences. Makes total sense you feel safer in dog free zone. Save for Milo, I rarely if ever take my dogs out in public. I’m lucky to have space out here. I think there are so many entitled dog “owners” (hate that word) who make things so difficult for the rest of us. I have much more to say about all of this but gosh this is already too long. I do love our conversations.
This is leaps and bounds ahead of the people who knowingly acquire a pit bull (often a rescue with past trauma), stamp an ESA on it, and then insist on bringing it into every public space. And for the record, I have huge respect for working dogs (farm dogs, seeing-eye dogs, etc), and they don't freak me out because they're usually very well-trained/well-behaved and doing something they were bred to excel at.
I love our conversations too -- I gotta get out there for a visit soon!
NON FLIP OUT = tremendous victory!! I see you!
Thank you!! It feels so good!
Through my work with elections, I've learned a lot about service animals. Did you know that, legally, they can be dogs or MINIATURE HORSES? That's it. No peacocks or snakes or even cats. That doesn't mean someone cannot have an emotional support animal is of another type, but ESAs don't receive the service animal protections. I'm thinking you suggest a mini horse for Angry Man the next time you run into each other. 😊
HAHAHAHAHA. He does need a pony. When I was writing this I was too lazy to look up which animals can be categorized as service v emotional support. I have vague memories of an article about a support pig and a support peacock but could be misremembering. Thank you for clarifying. I was on a date once with a guy who interrupted dinner to take a call, which he conducted right in front of me, loudly. This was maybe the second time we met. The call sounded… interesting. When it was done he explained it was his therapist calling to remind him about his mini pony therapy session. Look, I love therapy and I love service animals but really? Taking that call during dinner? Even I could see that red flag.
I appreciate your tales so much & i am very proud of your calm in the storm~I think I might have bopped him. I’m glad you had a visit from Milo~ what a wonderful feeling. My old yella lab, Lolita, sneaks around the corner from the kitchen to my room when she visits and I love her for that.
You are one of my sheroes for sharing so much of your life with us, especially because I relate to most of it.
Take care of yourself & your gang. ❤️🦩🌊
Thank you so much. I was truly startled by how I didn’t scream at that guy. Last week I started reading a book called What My Bones Know, by Stephanie Foo. It’s about her CPTSD and her major efforts to deal with it. It is SO helpful. I’m also continuing to read No Bad Parts, the book I mentioned here last week. In a way, that guy at the Springs ranting like he was ranting became metaphorically a manifestation of some of the crazier parts in my mind. Being able to observe him flipping out—it’s really hard to explain. But it helped me. ❤️
This just made me laugh out loud. Good for you for holding a Buddha facade up in the face of a meltdown. That is amazing! I aspire to such poise! Really, I think it’s these micro victories that will heal us collectively. Thank you for being you 🧡😊
Hahaha. I’m glad you got a laugh out of it. It would be so great if I could have a full year to contemplate all comebacks to confrontational men. Thank YOU for being you. ❤️
You're all namaste and I'm all nammastay my ass over here, you stay your ass over there. ❤️ So proud of you!!
Hahaha. THANK YOU!