I love and am grateful that you wrote and shared this. I think those of us who walk the edge of that deep pit know what we need to do not to collapse into it. That tears are reluctant to flow freely may be just our way of keeping balance so we can do what we need — and others need—us to do. For me, the scene of the duck sitting watch with Lisa the Goat, was enough to let a few tears loose—for all the animals, and all of us, and for my wonderful German shepherd who was my best friend. Oh, boo hoo! Thanks, Spike, as always, for your honest, wonderful post.
I cry all too often and always wish I could hold it back. I think of right now as the crying time. I’ve never cried so much except during times of profound grief.
Which, come to think of it, is an accurate description for how I feel about my country turning fascist.
One thing I couldn’t work into this piece—because it was already going long—is that yes, I have so much sadness and fear (terror) about this fascism stuff. Lisa the Goat was the focus of my sadness, but beneath that there is so much more sadness happening. I understand your crying. May we all find ways to comfort one another.
Loved this piece. I totally know that fear of "if I start crying I may never stop." I've written about that and made an art piece about it. And I relate to that uncertainty you described of not wanting to backslide after some healing or a period of relative stability. You're not alone in these feelings. And! I'm almost finished writing a piece about kindness so maybe this is my sign to finish it.
Thank you. The Fear of the Backslide is real. I’m glad to be feeling better today than last week but it’s still pretty heavy. I remind myself that politics is pressing in and down on us, that this is exacerbating the situation. And I just keep digging into my Don’t Lose Your Shit Kit. Today I did green smoothie, Barton Springs, and community (writing groups). It helped.
They have a memorial portion of my Sunday service at the first unitarian church here in philly.... I hit tears several times a year.... movies get me at least twice that often .... music makes tears maybe somewhere in between . My cries are maybe a minute or two long...with a lingering effect at times...so maybe a couple times a month.
That's my cry inventory....the thing is, I think crying is your body asking for help ...from other humans.... It's a visible sign of grief and pain meant to communicate a need....it's evolutionary communication..
Perhaps
Crying alone , by yourself, does only half the job
Perhaps that's why you want to report to others when a song or movie or event made you cry after the fact
I like this idea—it is a way for us to ask for help. Hadn’t thought about it like that. The other day I was in a public bathroom and the woman in the next stall was, it seemed, sniffling. Allergy season is here so as I sat on my porcelain throne I debated—is she needing help or just needing to sneeze? I did not intervene because I’m pretty sure it was the latter.
I have to tell you that your little posts are encouraging. Up until about a month ago, around my 47th birthday, I was somehow drinking a handle of vodka a week. I wouldn't drink on work nights. Just Sunday and Tuesday. I kept that up for years which is just wild. Your posts and maybe my uncle in Portugal telling me that I was repeating videos I would send him from YouTube have definitely helped things. It might have just been time. Still sipping beer and wine here not offering myself as an angel. But thanks for your part right now. Shaun
Hi Shaun. What a wonderful note. Thank you. I’m glad you put the vodka down. I used to love vodka. Now I love not drinking. If you decide you want to quit alcohol entirely and want some encouragement I am happy to encourage you. In the meantime, no judgement here! Just glad you’re taking better care of yourself. You deserve it. ♥️
The majority of my tears are for regret. Not sure what that says about me, exactly, except that I am and have always been full of regret. That's weird, right? Like, knowing my propensity for regret, shouldn't I be making better, less likely-to-cause-future-regrets decisions? Apparently, it doesn't work that way. RIP Lisa the goat.
Thanks for putting this out into the world. You’re the best, Spike!
Thank you for reading.
I love and am grateful that you wrote and shared this. I think those of us who walk the edge of that deep pit know what we need to do not to collapse into it. That tears are reluctant to flow freely may be just our way of keeping balance so we can do what we need — and others need—us to do. For me, the scene of the duck sitting watch with Lisa the Goat, was enough to let a few tears loose—for all the animals, and all of us, and for my wonderful German shepherd who was my best friend. Oh, boo hoo! Thanks, Spike, as always, for your honest, wonderful post.
Thank you for being here. Yes, I think I was trying to keep some balance. I’m glad I finally cried. I don’t feel great but I feel much better.
I cry all too often and always wish I could hold it back. I think of right now as the crying time. I’ve never cried so much except during times of profound grief.
Which, come to think of it, is an accurate description for how I feel about my country turning fascist.
One thing I couldn’t work into this piece—because it was already going long—is that yes, I have so much sadness and fear (terror) about this fascism stuff. Lisa the Goat was the focus of my sadness, but beneath that there is so much more sadness happening. I understand your crying. May we all find ways to comfort one another.
Loved this piece. I totally know that fear of "if I start crying I may never stop." I've written about that and made an art piece about it. And I relate to that uncertainty you described of not wanting to backslide after some healing or a period of relative stability. You're not alone in these feelings. And! I'm almost finished writing a piece about kindness so maybe this is my sign to finish it.
Thank you. The Fear of the Backslide is real. I’m glad to be feeling better today than last week but it’s still pretty heavy. I remind myself that politics is pressing in and down on us, that this is exacerbating the situation. And I just keep digging into my Don’t Lose Your Shit Kit. Today I did green smoothie, Barton Springs, and community (writing groups). It helped.
I don't cry much over human stuff, but if it's about animals, yeah, I'm a big ol' baby. I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet goat.
Thank you.
They have a memorial portion of my Sunday service at the first unitarian church here in philly.... I hit tears several times a year.... movies get me at least twice that often .... music makes tears maybe somewhere in between . My cries are maybe a minute or two long...with a lingering effect at times...so maybe a couple times a month.
That's my cry inventory....the thing is, I think crying is your body asking for help ...from other humans.... It's a visible sign of grief and pain meant to communicate a need....it's evolutionary communication..
Perhaps
Crying alone , by yourself, does only half the job
Perhaps that's why you want to report to others when a song or movie or event made you cry after the fact
I like this idea—it is a way for us to ask for help. Hadn’t thought about it like that. The other day I was in a public bathroom and the woman in the next stall was, it seemed, sniffling. Allergy season is here so as I sat on my porcelain throne I debated—is she needing help or just needing to sneeze? I did not intervene because I’m pretty sure it was the latter.
I have to tell you that your little posts are encouraging. Up until about a month ago, around my 47th birthday, I was somehow drinking a handle of vodka a week. I wouldn't drink on work nights. Just Sunday and Tuesday. I kept that up for years which is just wild. Your posts and maybe my uncle in Portugal telling me that I was repeating videos I would send him from YouTube have definitely helped things. It might have just been time. Still sipping beer and wine here not offering myself as an angel. But thanks for your part right now. Shaun
Hi Shaun. What a wonderful note. Thank you. I’m glad you put the vodka down. I used to love vodka. Now I love not drinking. If you decide you want to quit alcohol entirely and want some encouragement I am happy to encourage you. In the meantime, no judgement here! Just glad you’re taking better care of yourself. You deserve it. ♥️
I'm so sorry to read this notice. Bless Lisa's soul and yours for your guardianship of her.
Thank you. ❤️
The majority of my tears are for regret. Not sure what that says about me, exactly, except that I am and have always been full of regret. That's weird, right? Like, knowing my propensity for regret, shouldn't I be making better, less likely-to-cause-future-regrets decisions? Apparently, it doesn't work that way. RIP Lisa the goat.
That is very interesting. No pressure but I would love if you wrote about it.
Well do ya think maybe your goat could have at least received some pain management from a vet ? ( block me go ahead)