I Love It When You Read to Me

My Love Affair with Audiobooks

[I ♥️ Reading with My Ears]

In January, as part of my protest against the Bezos Empire, I let go of my Audible subscription, which I first signed up for in 2004, when Audible was independent. Now, I wish I had quit it way sooner. Whoever turned me on to the library’s free audio apps—Libby and Hoopla—THANK YOU. The free part means that now I can listen to a lot of books in one month, not just the one or two I got through my paid Audible subscription.

I thought I’d share with y’all the list of books I have listened to/am listening to since I jumped over to the free apps. It’s pretty impressive. I’ve checked out lots of fiction selected for purposes of escapism—the same reason I used to drink so much. Getting lost in the worlds and drama of other people, imaginary people, is such a tonic to the real world. I also love memoirs and, sometimes, biographies. And every now and again, I’ll revisit a genre I used to pursue with great regularity: self-help. Because I’m perpetually in need of emotional tuneups.

So here you go, in no particular order, my audiobook list.

All I Ever Wanted memoir by Kathy Valentine. KV is bassist for the Go-Go’s, one of the most influential bands in my life. I super, super recommend this one, read for us by the author, and, because it’s the audio version, it also features a wonderful soundtrack. Bonus points, much of it is set in Austin. I also highly recommend KV’s excellent substack The Direction of Motion, which is chock full of food for thought.

Broken Harbor and The Witch Elm fiction by Tana French. TF writes really long mysteries set in Ireland. She’s an incredible writer and she often uses 100 words where 10 would do. Some might view that as a flaw. Not me. When my mind is deeply suffering, I know I can download one of her books and that I will quickly become fully immersed in her well-developed characters and crisp dialogue. She also uses the weather as if it, too, is a character. I have lost count of how many of her books I’ve listened to. I’m such a fan.

A Change of Habit memoir by Sister Monica Clare. Despite being a proud heathen, I have a deep fascination with religion, in particular people who pursue monastic life. This recently released memoir is absolutely delicious. SMC had a severely traumatic childhood in the Deep South. Then she wound up working in LA as a comedian (she once attended a birthday party for Jimmy Fallon held in the room at the Chateau Marmont where John Belushi died). She was also married for a time. But her entire life she never let go of the dream of becoming a nun. Finally, she made that dream come true. This is such a great book.

Cave in the Snow biography by Vicki Mackenzie. Okay, I confess this one was leftover in my Audible library from before I quit. And I’m not seeing it available through Libby or Hoopla. However, I’m including it here in case you want to track down a copy. I thought of it because, as with the above mentioned book, this one is about a woman—Tenzin Palmo—who leaves her life in England, sets out on an unusual spiritual quest and winds up a Buddhist nun meditating for twelve years at 13,000 feet in a cave in the Himalayas. Utterly fascinating.

Faith, Hope and Carnage non-fiction by Nick Cave and Sean O’Hagan. Nine hours of profound conversation between the Australian rock star and the Irish journalist. I am a huge, huge Nick Cave fan, but I admit I was hesitant to pick this one up—fear rooted in the warning about not meeting your heroes. I was worried it would be, I don’t know, full of ego or something. Not at all. It does reference religion a whole lot, but to my ears Nick’s thoughts on god come across not as proselytizing but more philosophical. Also tons in there about music and profound grief— NC has, sadly, lost two sons.

The Harder I Fight the More I Love You memoir by Neko Case. I’m also a big fan of Neko Case—hey, look at that, Neko Case, Nick Cave, the two NC’s. Both performers are highly quirky, very hard to pin down to any particular category, have strong ideas they are not afraid of sharing, and are very unique lyricists. Neko Case had a very, very fucked up childhood (I won’t give away the craziest thing that happened to her but you truly will not believe it). She’s an unapologetic feminist and she is part woman, part horse, part badass car mechanic. Also, she wrote the saddest song ever written. I whipped through this one.

You Are Here and Sweet Sorrow pop fiction by David Nicholls. DN is an English writer who does really clever dialogue. His writing is hilarious and poignant and flat out delicious. You Are Here did make me literally laugh out loud. Sweet Sorrow will be extra appealing to my fellow Shakespeare fanatics, though a passion for the Bard is not required to enjoy it.

Death Comes for the Archbishop historical fiction by Willa Cather. I first read this (print version) perhaps thirty years ago. I remembered my friend Sue recommended it. I remembered it was about colonization. I remembered being blown away by it. But I couldn’t recount the actual story. So I listened to it this time. I really dug it. I also found myself wondering with great curiosity what had prompted me to mentally bookmark it as so profound. That’s not me saying it isn’t profound. What I mean is, Old Spike was trying to remember the mindset of Young Spike when first she (I) read it. I’m glad I read it again. Colonization sucks.

Yellowface fiction by R.F. Kuang. I remember when this came out a few years ago and was a big bestseller out of the gates. It’s a scathing look at the world of publishing—especially racism but so much more. Having been in that world for forty years (longer actually), I thought the book was mostly delicious. There were some parts that were borderline annoying. And I did enjoy reading negative reviews afterwards—not because I was looking for something to dislike about it, but because I am so curious about how polarizing some (most?) works can be and this one was, in fact, polarizing. I zipped through it in no time.

Don’t Bite the Hook self-help by Pema Chödrön. I grabbed this one last week and plowed right through it. Pema is like an old, reassuring friend. What prompted me to check this one out is that last week I lost my temper. I used to be kind of infamous for my temper. I have worked really, really hard to learn how to not go off on people, but when I am triggered this sometimes means all bets are off and I just utterly lose my shit. Then I experience the ADHD shame spiral accompanied by a severe emotional hangover that lasts for days and makes me literally sick. It’s truly horrible. Pema helps me remember I’m not alone and, at least as importantly, she offers very practical advice for steps to take to not get hooked or, if I do get hooked, how to get unhooked. Even if you’re someone who prefers print books, I always recommend the audio versions of Pema’s work because her voice is so soothing.

My Name is Lucy Barton fiction by Elizabeth Strout. One thing about using the free library app is often there is a waitlist. Last week while I was waiting for a couple of books to become available, I started randomly scrolling for something that was available and I stumbled on this very short (four hours) but incredibly profound novel by ES, who won a Pulitzer for Olive Kitteridge. My Name is Lucy Barton made me cry, which is not a complaint. It succinctly and powerfully tackles intergenerational trauma with a particular focus on the exquisite pains that come from mothering—from being mothered and from being a mother. Shout out to the narrator Kimberly Farr who delivers a terrific performance.

The Last Illusion of Paige White fiction by Vanessa McCausland; The Best Minds biography by Jonathan Rosen; DBT Skills for Highly Sensitive People self-help by Emma Lauer, LCSW. These are the three I currently have on my Libby Shelf. Usually I stick with one at a time but because I am in hardcore escapist mode right now, I grabbed all three as they became available. The first is a short mystery set in Australia—so far, so good. The second is a biography of the author’s best friend who is schizophrenic—the book was a Pulitzer finalist. The third is a short one I got to complement some of the lessons in the aforementioned book by Pema Chödrön as I continue to study and learn my traumatized mind and how to soothe it before flying off the handle.

What are y’all reading? Audio or print? Or, if reading isn’t your thing, what are you doing to escape and/or stay grounded?

JOY AND BEAUTY DEPARTMENT

My friend Shen painted that portrait of Levon. Isn’t it freaking awesome?

THE LAWN MOWER REPORT

NOTES:

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I hope you all have a peaceful week.

Love,

Spike