I love this. I was basically a religious fundamentalist for the first 15 years of my life (not really my parents' fault; they just took me to a somewhat normal church, but I took biblical evangelism way too seriously), and then agnostic for the next 20ish years. It took a few crises and much therapy for me to realize that my new-age agnosticism (ascribing intention to the Universe, and getting sucked into superstitions) was really a form of OCD, as is most religion/spiritual belief. So I decided to embrace atheism and material reality rather than trying to interpret the will of the "Universe," and it has helped more with my anxiety/PTSD than anything else. I still think rituals have a place in a meaningful life, but we have to acknowledge that all meaning comes from ourselves, not from some supernatural force that's trying to punish or reward us.
Oh! I also got WAY into religion when I was a kid. Looking back, and to oversimplify, I think my dedication was an example of how I was overzealous about any activity that was an escape from my family trauma. I was the youngest lector at our church. I prayed hard. I wanted god to hit me with a bolt of lightning to validate that I was CHOSEN. And so, of course, when my eyes opened, it was super hard to sort through all of that, and I’m still sorting through what an incredibly negative impact religion has had on my life, and that impact continues. I hadn’t thought about it as an OCD thing but that makes great sense. Living with cows has been so enlightening. I love watching them just be. Yes, they have their rituals or, more accurately their routines. But they are never caught up in dogma. They simply exist. They are my best role models. Great to hear from you.
I love this. I was basically a religious fundamentalist for the first 15 years of my life (not really my parents' fault; they just took me to a somewhat normal church, but I took biblical evangelism way too seriously), and then agnostic for the next 20ish years. It took a few crises and much therapy for me to realize that my new-age agnosticism (ascribing intention to the Universe, and getting sucked into superstitions) was really a form of OCD, as is most religion/spiritual belief. So I decided to embrace atheism and material reality rather than trying to interpret the will of the "Universe," and it has helped more with my anxiety/PTSD than anything else. I still think rituals have a place in a meaningful life, but we have to acknowledge that all meaning comes from ourselves, not from some supernatural force that's trying to punish or reward us.
Oh! I also got WAY into religion when I was a kid. Looking back, and to oversimplify, I think my dedication was an example of how I was overzealous about any activity that was an escape from my family trauma. I was the youngest lector at our church. I prayed hard. I wanted god to hit me with a bolt of lightning to validate that I was CHOSEN. And so, of course, when my eyes opened, it was super hard to sort through all of that, and I’m still sorting through what an incredibly negative impact religion has had on my life, and that impact continues. I hadn’t thought about it as an OCD thing but that makes great sense. Living with cows has been so enlightening. I love watching them just be. Yes, they have their rituals or, more accurately their routines. But they are never caught up in dogma. They simply exist. They are my best role models. Great to hear from you.
May I cross-post this?
I’d love that! Thanks!