“Reverence. Resentment. How easily and quietly one sometimes gives way to the other over time.” Beautiful. Also-you have laid bare the ferocity & occasional magnificence of the post-traumatic stress injured mind. It knows the world as it really is, and has so much to offer as it “sees the work, does the work, and (mostly) stays out of misery.” Or at least doesn’t drown in it.
Damn Spike. This was a hell of a lot. I hope our fellow traveler Pascal is happily coursing along on her return trip into the unknown. I hope our little gun-toting delinquent finds his way into more wholesome company. But most of all, I am grateful for your recounting of this slice of life and how nourishing it was to read.
I have been thinking about this beautiful essay since it hit my inbox a few weeks ago. I meant to email you a note of condolence. Alas, I have not done that.
Today I had lunch with a friend before she took me to the airport to rejoin my husband on our summer getaway after working here for a few days.
We were catching up in the lives of her daughters. Luci loves to bake and has recently expanded into creating recipes and cooking meals. We talked about how this journey started about 5 years ago with baking classes in person and then online (fucking Covid!!) I remember this from that time, but had not considered who was teaching the classes. Of course it was your dear Pascal! Luci (and her whole family) loved her very much. She told me several touching stories. They had been receiving health updates from The Baking School, but she was unaware that Pascal had transitioned. I was able to let her know because of this small world connection. I feel like I know Pascal via your stories and now those of Alicia and Luci. I treasure the times in life when love ripples out this way. 💟
Gia! What an amazing story. I love, love, love the magical overlaps. Sorry you had to break the sad news but I’m glad she shared some Pascal stories with you. A small group of us gathered a few days after Pascal transitioned to share food and stories. I heard some tales I hadn’t heard before and we shared stories of how her energy has already visited us and/or is living on in us. While I’m so sad she’s gone I feel this tremendous peace around her. And every time I jump in Barton Springs it’s like she’s right there with me. Glad you got to resume you cooler adventure! The book you recommended arrived. It is on the top of the “read next pile.”
Dear Spike, I’ve been reading and re-reading this for almost three days and I still don’t have the words to tell you how profoundly moving it is. It’s absolutely beautiful, wild, raw, tender, gutting, and the most soaring and human testament to your friendship with Pascal.
My heart is with you as you say good-bye to your dear and treasured friend. My prayers are with Pascal in her transition… may it be the sweetest release… the most peace-filled and glorious of “Letting Go’s.”
I am truly humbled and filled with love and gratitude for both of your great teachings on generosity. ✨ T H A N K Y O U ✨
Every loss is its own world of grief and discovery. ❤️🩹 Remembering our serendipitous, mutually comforting embrace at Wheatsville after my mom died and sending you that kind of hug 🌈✨ Love you so much, wonderful human.
Reading your prose is like I imagine it would be to munch through all the gorgeous baked goods pictured on this post. So rich and beautiful. So heartbreakingly brief, the taste, but still, it lasts in the mind. I attended, by FaceTime, yesterday morning, a memorial for a longtime friend on the east coast. When it was over, I read your post and felt all over the beauty and anguish of a lost friend, who will always be there in stories and memory, but not to sit with, and make laughter with. I send you much sympathy as your dear Pascal passes away. May you bake many goodies and shed many tears and just be loved and loved, anyway!
I've been feeling the loss of my mom (who passed last year) a lot lately. Thank you for the release of tears this morning as I read your beautiful tribute to your dear friend.
Your words painted a beautiful picture in my heart. It helped me have more compassion for my Jack-in-the-box emotions that, lately, were popping out intensely different every hour. Much love to you as your friend passes on to the next plane of existence.
I totally, totally understand the jack-in-the-box emotions. Never heard it put like that but wow, that is precisely right. Thank you for the good words. ♥️
“Reverence. Resentment. How easily and quietly one sometimes gives way to the other over time.” Beautiful. Also-you have laid bare the ferocity & occasional magnificence of the post-traumatic stress injured mind. It knows the world as it really is, and has so much to offer as it “sees the work, does the work, and (mostly) stays out of misery.” Or at least doesn’t drown in it.
Thank you. I get so frustrated with my PTSD mind sometimes. It can be really hard to remember to treat it gently, like the injured animal it is.
Damn Spike. This was a hell of a lot. I hope our fellow traveler Pascal is happily coursing along on her return trip into the unknown. I hope our little gun-toting delinquent finds his way into more wholesome company. But most of all, I am grateful for your recounting of this slice of life and how nourishing it was to read.
What an amazing loving tribute to your sweet friend.
Thank you.
I have been thinking about this beautiful essay since it hit my inbox a few weeks ago. I meant to email you a note of condolence. Alas, I have not done that.
Today I had lunch with a friend before she took me to the airport to rejoin my husband on our summer getaway after working here for a few days.
We were catching up in the lives of her daughters. Luci loves to bake and has recently expanded into creating recipes and cooking meals. We talked about how this journey started about 5 years ago with baking classes in person and then online (fucking Covid!!) I remember this from that time, but had not considered who was teaching the classes. Of course it was your dear Pascal! Luci (and her whole family) loved her very much. She told me several touching stories. They had been receiving health updates from The Baking School, but she was unaware that Pascal had transitioned. I was able to let her know because of this small world connection. I feel like I know Pascal via your stories and now those of Alicia and Luci. I treasure the times in life when love ripples out this way. 💟
Gia! What an amazing story. I love, love, love the magical overlaps. Sorry you had to break the sad news but I’m glad she shared some Pascal stories with you. A small group of us gathered a few days after Pascal transitioned to share food and stories. I heard some tales I hadn’t heard before and we shared stories of how her energy has already visited us and/or is living on in us. While I’m so sad she’s gone I feel this tremendous peace around her. And every time I jump in Barton Springs it’s like she’s right there with me. Glad you got to resume you cooler adventure! The book you recommended arrived. It is on the top of the “read next pile.”
Dear Spike, I’ve been reading and re-reading this for almost three days and I still don’t have the words to tell you how profoundly moving it is. It’s absolutely beautiful, wild, raw, tender, gutting, and the most soaring and human testament to your friendship with Pascal.
My heart is with you as you say good-bye to your dear and treasured friend. My prayers are with Pascal in her transition… may it be the sweetest release… the most peace-filled and glorious of “Letting Go’s.”
I am truly humbled and filled with love and gratitude for both of your great teachings on generosity. ✨ T H A N K Y O U ✨
Thank you so much Rachael. It is so hard. I know you know. Love you! ♥️
Every loss is its own world of grief and discovery. ❤️🩹 Remembering our serendipitous, mutually comforting embrace at Wheatsville after my mom died and sending you that kind of hug 🌈✨ Love you so much, wonderful human.
♥️
Thank you for this, Spike. A friendship like that is a true treasure. I'm so glad that you had each other as friends for so long.
Thank you Anitra.
Reading your prose is like I imagine it would be to munch through all the gorgeous baked goods pictured on this post. So rich and beautiful. So heartbreakingly brief, the taste, but still, it lasts in the mind. I attended, by FaceTime, yesterday morning, a memorial for a longtime friend on the east coast. When it was over, I read your post and felt all over the beauty and anguish of a lost friend, who will always be there in stories and memory, but not to sit with, and make laughter with. I send you much sympathy as your dear Pascal passes away. May you bake many goodies and shed many tears and just be loved and loved, anyway!
Thank you so much.
Wow...beautiful,powerful,heart-wrenching;also makes you pause,think,and be grateful for certain things. Thank you so much for sharing this piece...
Thank you.
You're welcome...
This was stunning, truly you are a beautiful writer.
Thank you
wow thank you for writing this. I treasure her so much. Very grateful to be connected through your writing.
Thank you.
... the baking of it. ... to the heavens. What a beautiful piece/peace.
♥️
I've been feeling the loss of my mom (who passed last year) a lot lately. Thank you for the release of tears this morning as I read your beautiful tribute to your dear friend.
I’m so sorry about your mom. It’s so hard. ♥️
and thank you Spike for being such a good friend!
Love you. Thank YOU for being such a goof friend to Pascal and me and all your friends. Such hard times. I’m glad we can hold each other. ♥️
Your words painted a beautiful picture in my heart. It helped me have more compassion for my Jack-in-the-box emotions that, lately, were popping out intensely different every hour. Much love to you as your friend passes on to the next plane of existence.
I totally, totally understand the jack-in-the-box emotions. Never heard it put like that but wow, that is precisely right. Thank you for the good words. ♥️
I lost Kathi seven years ago, and not a day goes by when something reminds me of our friendship. I am sorry for your loss.🥲
Thanks Dolly. I’m so sorry about Kathi. It really is so hard. ♥️
✨❤️🥐❤️✨
♥️