First things First ~watching the video of you kneading the dough made me aware of your knuckle tats. You better get those puppies altered in some way so you aren’t reported as an MS-13 gang member by one of the people you yell at cause they are so fuckin’ Stupid! I mean, did you see how that guy that was here legally, and somebody photoshopped his hands by adding MS13 above his & he’s lost in the prison system in El Salvador! I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t warn you about this and you got ICEd.
Now, your latest musings ~ the reason I love reading this is because of your passion for calling out the things & people that are fucked up! I feel like it makes my way of dealing with the same situations ok. I don’t think I’ve had a peaceful conversation about politics since Nixon & Vietnam~I can still visualize some of them easily. And people~Don’t get me started.
When you go off on (insert item here), I see myself. But I also hear those voices in my head telling me I’m awful for not being able to control myself or I’m insane because I feel like that. But I try to remember how much I love my friends & my dawg & listening to the birds while I drink my coffee in the morning, etc. But here’s my point~if I think You are awesome for being passionate & loud when you need to be then that must mean I’m ok too, which is unbelievable to me. But I don’t wanna go too far out on a limb about it.
So thank you once again for being a friend to some friends of mine ~ it’s like we’re second cousins that never met.
Thanks. I’m pretty sure I am far down on the list of potential gang members. Of course who knows how low the fascist regime will go, but I have no plans to change out my knuck tats. They are in memory of a beloved friend who died way too soon. Glad you’re here!
Omg I know you'll get this story -- I believe I have mentioned that my little neighbors run along our shared wall in a way that makes it sound like cows are coming through. So in March I was at the Tennessee Theatre in the middle of a concert by one of my favorite Buddhists, Charles Lloyd, when I received an email from their mom (who knew I wasn't home), telling me I was ridiculous and she wasn't going to deal with my drama. (Aside: She knew I wasn't home AND she is sweet as pie to me in front of other people.) I wrote her a letter so scathing I know it is burned into her soul. Then I felt gross because I had taken myself out of a moment to react to her and not in a gracious way. Flash forward to last Saturday: I was getting ready to go to the store when the smaller child starts bouncing a fucking ball against my wall at 8 30 am. I go to the wall and scream "Driven from my own home by these brats!" And stomp off. Then I came back to apologize to my husband for being dramatic. In the middle of my sentence, the whole building shakes and shakes, and my first thought was "Omg, I did that!" It was an earthquake, BTW. I am not that powerful :)
As someone who, like you, strives to do right and to grow, I have that same burning reaction to being falsely accused. I love the gift you’ve given us all, of that little laughing nun and her bell.
Thank you for the bell story, I've never heard it put like that. I'm going to try to listen to my bell more (and not the ringer). When your response to "it may be a thinking problem" was "I think about that all the time" I had to laugh in recognition. :)
I LOVE all your writing but I especially love I’ve found another crone who loves her mini-chain saw!! Most fabulous invention. Couldn’t live without mine. It also seems to be an appropriate metaphor for all that ails all of us. God bless you Spike!
That's a tough one. I'm always torn between my Scandinavian roots urging me to remain the Strong Silent Type and ignore the rudeness, and giving them a full blast to show them there are consequences to their thoughtless, idiotic words/actions. As my thesis professor taught me, 'moderation in all things'. Or at tip from Benjamin Hardy: what would your Future Self think? Also factored into my overthinking process: what was their intent? Was it to deliberately poke the bear, or are they just stupid and in need of a life lesson?
Over the weekend, I found myself having a conversation about Christmas music, and I told the small group my idea for a Austin-focused Christmas song I've dying to write (but too lazy to get done.) One of the people went off on what a bad, cringey idea it is and how it would stupid for me to do this thing. Like, the amount of animus this person had for my low-stakes, hypothetical Christmas song of joy made absolutely no sense. I just brushed it off at the time, but over the next few days found myself increasingly bothered by the incident, the bell getting louder and louder, until bang! the energy collapsed in on itself, and I resolved that I am going to write the best f*cking Christmas song I can possibly write. So thank you thank you, swirling tsunami of negativity. That was the push I needed.
First things First ~watching the video of you kneading the dough made me aware of your knuckle tats. You better get those puppies altered in some way so you aren’t reported as an MS-13 gang member by one of the people you yell at cause they are so fuckin’ Stupid! I mean, did you see how that guy that was here legally, and somebody photoshopped his hands by adding MS13 above his & he’s lost in the prison system in El Salvador! I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t warn you about this and you got ICEd.
Now, your latest musings ~ the reason I love reading this is because of your passion for calling out the things & people that are fucked up! I feel like it makes my way of dealing with the same situations ok. I don’t think I’ve had a peaceful conversation about politics since Nixon & Vietnam~I can still visualize some of them easily. And people~Don’t get me started.
When you go off on (insert item here), I see myself. But I also hear those voices in my head telling me I’m awful for not being able to control myself or I’m insane because I feel like that. But I try to remember how much I love my friends & my dawg & listening to the birds while I drink my coffee in the morning, etc. But here’s my point~if I think You are awesome for being passionate & loud when you need to be then that must mean I’m ok too, which is unbelievable to me. But I don’t wanna go too far out on a limb about it.
So thank you once again for being a friend to some friends of mine ~ it’s like we’re second cousins that never met.
Take care~
PS Yes, I have those feelings too—am I being crazy? Am I simply standing up for myself? It is really confusing to be a human.
Thanks. I’m pretty sure I am far down on the list of potential gang members. Of course who knows how low the fascist regime will go, but I have no plans to change out my knuck tats. They are in memory of a beloved friend who died way too soon. Glad you’re here!
My daughter's knuckles tats say "lady" and "like."
LOVE!
I am so grateful that you are in my world dear one.Keep shining!♥️🌟💚✌️
Thanks for being here! ❤️
Omg I know you'll get this story -- I believe I have mentioned that my little neighbors run along our shared wall in a way that makes it sound like cows are coming through. So in March I was at the Tennessee Theatre in the middle of a concert by one of my favorite Buddhists, Charles Lloyd, when I received an email from their mom (who knew I wasn't home), telling me I was ridiculous and she wasn't going to deal with my drama. (Aside: She knew I wasn't home AND she is sweet as pie to me in front of other people.) I wrote her a letter so scathing I know it is burned into her soul. Then I felt gross because I had taken myself out of a moment to react to her and not in a gracious way. Flash forward to last Saturday: I was getting ready to go to the store when the smaller child starts bouncing a fucking ball against my wall at 8 30 am. I go to the wall and scream "Driven from my own home by these brats!" And stomp off. Then I came back to apologize to my husband for being dramatic. In the middle of my sentence, the whole building shakes and shakes, and my first thought was "Omg, I did that!" It was an earthquake, BTW. I am not that powerful :)
So many other humans are so annoying. Sorry you’re dealing with this. But conjuring an earthquake? VERY IMPRESSIVE!!
As someone who, like you, strives to do right and to grow, I have that same burning reaction to being falsely accused. I love the gift you’ve given us all, of that little laughing nun and her bell.
Thank you for the bell story, I've never heard it put like that. I'm going to try to listen to my bell more (and not the ringer). When your response to "it may be a thinking problem" was "I think about that all the time" I had to laugh in recognition. :)
Haha. Thank you. That line made me laugh, too. Because it is embarrassingly true.
I LOVE all your writing but I especially love I’ve found another crone who loves her mini-chain saw!! Most fabulous invention. Couldn’t live without mine. It also seems to be an appropriate metaphor for all that ails all of us. God bless you Spike!
Mini chainsaw is THE BEST!
That's a tough one. I'm always torn between my Scandinavian roots urging me to remain the Strong Silent Type and ignore the rudeness, and giving them a full blast to show them there are consequences to their thoughtless, idiotic words/actions. As my thesis professor taught me, 'moderation in all things'. Or at tip from Benjamin Hardy: what would your Future Self think? Also factored into my overthinking process: what was their intent? Was it to deliberately poke the bear, or are they just stupid and in need of a life lesson?
Over the weekend, I found myself having a conversation about Christmas music, and I told the small group my idea for a Austin-focused Christmas song I've dying to write (but too lazy to get done.) One of the people went off on what a bad, cringey idea it is and how it would stupid for me to do this thing. Like, the amount of animus this person had for my low-stakes, hypothetical Christmas song of joy made absolutely no sense. I just brushed it off at the time, but over the next few days found myself increasingly bothered by the incident, the bell getting louder and louder, until bang! the energy collapsed in on itself, and I resolved that I am going to write the best f*cking Christmas song I can possibly write. So thank you thank you, swirling tsunami of negativity. That was the push I needed.
I need this person’s email immediately. I need to enlighten them. Hahah.
Can’t wait to hear the song.
You had me at